Day 18 – Court Day

Wow, yesterday seems like it was so long ago! That’s what I get for not writing this on the train last night. It’s not like I didn’t have time! 

Since it was court day, we did not get our regular 10:00 a.m. visit with V. We were a little unsure what the day would bring and when we needed to be where. The only thing we knew with any kind of certainty was that we had to be in court at 2:00 p.m. So we showered up and tried to look our best!

Our coordinator arrived at the flat about 10:30 or so. She had come in again on the overnight train from Kiev and had already been to the orphanage to pick up another document. She took a quick shower and then told us that we had to be ready to leave at 11:50 a.m. We had to go back to the Notary to finalize some documents for court and since I did not bring the Power of Attorney for Robert for the second trip, we needed to create one. We asked if we could stop at the orphanage to say goodbye to V as we were not sure if he would be in court with us or not. She also told us that we would be able to come back to the flat after court to change clothes and then we would head for the train. We also had a very few words of coaching for the court hearing.

I had translated a note to V the night before that basically said we had to go back to America, when we would be back to take him home with us, we would miss him and that he should be a good boy while we were gone. He was all hugs after reading it. I also left him with the Uno and Go Fish games, his coloring pencils/books/sharpener, an apple, an orange and a pack of gum (more on the gum later). We also told him to practice his new last name. It will be a little bit of a challenge for him at first. Too many letters. And too many letters that switch! I’ve been married darn near 20 years and I’m not sure my dad can spell my “new” last name! Can ya Pops?

We quickly left the orphanage and headed for court. Let me just start out by saying this was somewhat of a terrifying experience. There were many people outside the building standing in a crowd line. They were all pushing and shoving and yelling and shaking their documents in clear plastic folders over their heads. I think I mentioned I have absolutely no idea what they are saying, right? Our coordinator proceeded to get in the middle of this pushing shoving yelling shaking crowd line and shove her way to the front. I tried desperately to follow her and still maintain some spatial relationship to my lovely spouse who was following behind me. She proceeded to open the door and walked in with us right behind her fearing for our lives. A nasty official looking dude immediately pounced came forward and spoke harshly to our coordinator. He kept pointing back outside to the crowd. After much heated discussion, she told us we could sit over in the chairs against the wall. The dude was obviously not very happy about it but we went. And then our coordinator proceeded to tell us that she was leaving and would be back! To quote a very close friend of mine, “Are you kidding me???” We meekly sat against the wall and tried not to stare watch as the nasty official looking dude pounced came forward when other people actually made it in the door. He was quite angry. All the time. They all ended up back outside however. We tried very hard to blend in. HA!

Our coordinator finally returned. She had the local inspector (social worker) with her. She and our driver evidently had to go pick her up. They sat in chairs across the room.

Within 10 minutes we went through a metal detector that beeped as each person walked through it. No one even looked up. We then proceeded up a set of stairs and down many long hallways. Our coordinator opened the last office and handed in some documents. There were 3 young girls cramped in the little office behind desks.

We waited in the hallway again and then were shown to a court room. It was a few minutes before 2:00 p.m. There was a row of tables in the front where one of the 3 girls from the office went to sit behind a computer (court reporter). Against the perpendicular wall were 2 tables end to end with a bench behind it. This was basically across from the door. This is where the prosecutor, the social worker and the representative from the orphanage eventually sat. The rest of the court room was filled with seats in rows that looked like they were from old movie theaters or school gymnasiums. You know the kind, wooden with the fold up seat all connected via wrought iron. They even had numbers on them! There was a walkway down the middle. Next to the seats, on the same wall as the door was a large old fashioned metal cage. It seriously reminded me of the movies! That must be where they put yucky people for yucky kinds of court hearings...Glad I wasn’t locked in there!

As we were getting settled in the first row of seats, the prosecutor and the inspector came in and sat on the bench behind the 2 tables. Two gentlemen about 35 years of age came in and sat a few rows behind us as well, they were the “jury” and were allowed to ask us questions as they saw fit. Very shortly thereafter my V walked in accompanied by the representative from the orphanage. He sat next to me at the end of the first row (only 4 seats per row). It wasn’t long though and poor V had the prosecutor, the inspector and the orphanage director all talking to him pretty fast. You could tell they meant business. Remember the gum I mentioned up above. Yup, V was chewing the gum I gave him. They were telling him to get rid of it. And quickly before the judge showed up. I got him in trouble and he hasn’t even left the country yet! Heck, he wasn’t even mine yet! I told him “Momma sorry.” He laughed and said “Is OK.” We got rid of the gum pronto. Then he got 3 smiles from the nice ladies on the bench...

I was SO terrified nervous. V was also visibly upset; our coordinator later told me that he was very scared. The orphanage representative kept trying to calm him down but it wasn’t working very well. She was rubbing his hand and talking to him slowly in quiet tones. I have been amazed at how obvious it is that each of the orphanage workers cares for these kids (I saw many moments like this through out our visits). She motioned to me so I put my arm around him, gave him big hugs and told him “Is OK”. I patted my heart really fast and said “Momma nervous”. That got me a killer smile and a “V too”. He and I did some deep breathing and then I asked him if wanted to play Go Chicken. He cracked up and we giggled a little bit. I got a very nice smile from the orphanage director but a scowl from the husband. The repeated nervousness, comfort attempts, hugs went on for what seemed like forever. I think I lost 3 lbs just from the sweat in my palms. V and I were quietly laughing at the fact that we both had voda (water) on our hands. Forever was actually only 35 minutes but it sure seemed like hours. All the while you sit there mentally rehearsing the questions he might ask and what the right answers are. How much do you make a month? What are you expenses per month? Can you provide for this child? Why did you come to Ukraine? Why this child? Will this child have the same rights as your biological child? On and on and on in your mind...And you just sit there and pray that you say the right thing. Or at a minimum, you say an acceptable thing.

The judge finally entered the courtroom and took his place at 2:35 p.m. He read a document and then asked us why we were there. Robert stood and indicated that we petitioned the court to allow us to adopt V, issue a new birth certificate in his new name with us as parents and issue a new passport in his new name, leave his birth date and place of birth the same. The judge then started reading a stack of documents out loud. Our coordinator was translating as fast as she could. There were too many documents to list but basically statements in support of our petition from the SDA in Kiev, the local inspector, the orphanage, a summary of the court proceedings that brought V to the orphanage, his medical status, several more statements from the orphanage on V’s current situation and then 2 statements from V. This last group of statements was very hard for me. Bottom line is a couple of statements on the current status with his mother, his short description of life with his mother and his request to the court that he be adopted by us. 

I was asked by the prosecutor why I was adopting when I had a natural child of my own. I stood up and then told her that I wanted a larger family and I loved being a mother. I really wanted to say “Who wouldn’t want to adopt this sweet, kind, adorable child?” but David told me those kind of things really aren’t the right answers in court! She seemed satisfied with the answer I gave and there were no more questions. 

At the very end, we each had to stand and repeat why we were there. To petition the court to allow us to adopt V, issue a new birth certificate in his new name with us as parents and issue a new passport in his new name, leave his birth date and place of birth the same. The judge then adjourned to his office to render his verdict.

We started to gather our things and the local inspector was talking to me in Russian with tears in her eyes, big smiles and a big squeeze of my arm. I was once again very sorry that I have absolutely no idea what they are saying. Our coordinator did not hear her so she was not able to translate it for me. Maybe she could tell how much this little guy means to me/us? And how much we mean to him? Maybe she said she was really, really hungry? Who knows...

We had only about 30 seconds to say goodbye to V again. I told him again what day to expect us back for him. Quick hugs from both of us, a kiss on his forehead from mom and off he had to go.

We waited in the hallway with our coordinator until the court reporter called us into the judge’s chamber. He read another document that our translator again tried to keep up with. Bottom line, our petition was granted. We are now the legal parents of V! Yippeeeeeeeee!!!!!

There is a 10 day appeals period where we are desperately hoping no one files an appeal. Then we will come back to pick V up and start the last of the paper chase across 3 cities. We will need to pick up the final adoption decree, get the new birth certificate and a new tax id (like social security number for those in the US) issued in the town he lives in now. Then we will move to the town that is the capital of his region where we will get a new Ukrainian passport issued. Then we will go back to Kiev for the medical exam, the US passport and the VISA. Then if I have my story correct, we are done! We are free to head off for home!

We left the court building, headed back to our flat to change and grab the suitcases, a quick trip back to the orphanage for our coordinator to run in a document and then we were off to the train. Instead of the 2 hour drive to the capital city to meet the train, we took the train all the way back to Kiev. Unfortunately there were no compartments available in either 2nd or 1st class. We ended up in 3rd class cramped quarters. Oh well, we said we were on an adventure! The train pulled out of the station a little after 5:00 p.m. We are starting the long journey home!