Reflection Saturday

I don't get much quiet time.  The boys have gone to the lake, all of them.  Well, except this one...

I know I should be in the office.  But I just can't seem to get myself motivated enough to get in the car and take the drive.  The MANY loads of laundry seem to be calling to me today.  And the mess in the closets.  Not to mention the yard.  So it's just me.  And Casper.  I can actually think.  Wow!

As I was reading some of the blogs this morning, I decided to update the design and add a few gadgets like a list of the blogs I follow.  It won't let me add any additional blogs; I have to figure out what is happening.  Because there are about 90 more that need to be added.  If you don't see your blog listed, it will come.  Give me some time.

As I scanned through the blogs and think about each of these families, I'm am truly amazed by each story. I feel like I've gotten to know so many of them through our little blog community.  They are all so different.  How/why they started on this journey, where the journey has lead them, what they have learned along the way.  Those that have experienced the sudden and truly heart-breaking death of their new found child, those that have a child that has seen so much emotional or physical or psychological damage that there may never be healing, the family that made a really tough decision to disrupt their adoption as well as the family that has chosen to take that child in.  The birth of a dream for all.  The death of a dream for some.  A new normal for most.

I am amazed at the strength, the perseverance, the faith. Many of these families have had surprises of some sort.  Some found out there were siblings and ended up adopting more than they had planned.  Some arrived in country only to find out their child was no longer there or no longer wanted to be adopted.  Some families had relatives of the children suddenly appear and try to obtain money for not objecting to the adoption.  Some families had delays that lasted months or even years.  One had to fight all the way to the Ukrainian Supreme Court!  Some never made it through to the other side and had to leave the children behind.  Some faced incredible corruption in the orphanage while others found incredible love and support.  Some found out there was more damage to the child than they thought.  Some were prepared for that, some were not.  There really was no 'normal' journey.  Each story was and remains as unique as each child.

I try to think about what my favorite story is and I simply can't narrow it down.  One family who fought corruption and bad will for several years to get two sisters out only to finally get there and find out they had to leave one of them behind (and alone) for yet another year.  The family that had to fight a corrupt judge all the way to the Supreme Court.  The family that arrived in country only to be told by the child that she had changed her mind but to then come across another blog where that exact same child said yes!  And to watch those two families connect.  And accept that God had a different plan.  The story of an adoptee who left her best friend behind only to have her family go adopt her a few years later when she became available.  The heart-breaking story of a family that brought home their beautiful son only to have him pass away a few months later.

No matter what the journey, each and every one of us has learned so much.  For some, it's been a journey filled with loss, pain and disappointment.  For us, it has been an incredibly positive journey.  I still marvel at how a  family of 3 started talking about applying for a German Foreign Exchange student only to end up adopting a 12 year old boy from Ukraine!  The Lord works in mysterious ways is all I can say.

Yet I still struggle with what comes next.  I don't seem to be able to be done.  Maybe because I'm addicted to the strength of these families as it plays out each day.  The faith.  The love.  I don't know.  There certainly is much material in all of these stories to write a book.  Maybe I'm supposed to tell their stories?  Much to Robert's relief, I don't hear the calling to adopt more children.  But I do still hear the calling to do something.  I've helped families raise funds.  I've donated to many.  I've been serving as one of the Board of Director's for an adoption agency (Crossroads Adoption).  We're working on several things right now, one is a new program in Congo.  Although it's much more rewarding than my time on the Hudson Sidekicks Board of Directors (don't get me wrong - it was great - but I seem to be searching for something more, something deeper), it doesn't seem to answer the call either.  I don't know how we ended up in Ukraine, it wasn't a choice.  It found us.  But I can't seem to leave it.  Ethiopia, Congo, Colombia, Russia, Guatemala, Haiti, Bulgaria, I don't know.  Lukewarm.  Ukraine, I'm still tied to there.  And I don't know why.  I've reached out again to David at Advocate for Orphans to see about helping him with the hosting program.  We'll see what comes of that.  With my schedule this summer, it's going to be difficult to contribute more than a few days.  But I'm working on it!  I guess the frustrating part is that it's been two years and I still don't have the answer.  I guess it's not time yet...or I'm missing it.  Please say a little prayer for me that the Lord shows me what he has planned.  And I think you best ask him to make it obvious!!