Both Viktor and Alex have grown so much in the last year, physically and emotionally. Alex is a senior and has one foot out the door already. He is SO ready for the next phase in his life. We however are not as ready as he is. Alex has been accepted to all of the colleges he applied to minus one. We are still waiting for that one to come back. Unfortunately, it's the one at the top of his list...All of these schools are within a few hours drive however so we are fortunate that he will be close.
As I look back, Viktor had a busy year since I last updated you all on his progress.
He spent 2 weeks at Concordia Language Villages again this summer at their Russian camp. His best friend from Mariupol (Misha) was adopted into California and he made the trip up to attend camp with him. Misha and his mother Tracy arrived a few days early and we all had a great time hanging out. It was SO good to see them! And those two boys had an absolute blast at camp. This was the only photo I could find of the two of them together however.
Other news from camp is that Viktor came home with a girlfriend! She lives in Minnesota and had been very recently adopted from Russia. He still talks to her here and there but it's nothing serious. Whew! So not ready for that! I know it's part of life and we had a nice talk about that, but I'm SO not ready yet. He manages to come home with at least one phone number of a girl no matter where he goes. Oh boy...
I cannot say enough good things about Concordia Language Villages and their program. I hear Viktor and Misha are the only ones from his hosting group that have retained their Russian language. That makes me sad. It's such a part of who they are, where they have come from. Not to mention how valuable that skill will be in the future. Viktor is scheduled to go back again this summer but as of right now, that might be on hold. The timing for Russian camp means that he misses the 4th of July every year. We hate that. As does he. So this year he asked if we could work out a different program that would help keep his Russian language but allow him to be home for the 4th of July. He said he wants to be with his family. Awww....we miss him terribly so I'm trying to come up with some alternatives. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know!
Viktor turned 15 in August and we went to Moscow on the Hill again to celebrate. He loves it there. He orders more food than he can possibly eat and brings home whatever he can't manage to ingest. It's a great treat for him to be able to have good food from his past. The entire family of grandparents, aunts and uncles usually turns out for the event, we try new things and it's a great time for all.
Viktor entered high school this year. This was taken as part of the annual "first day of school" photo program. For the record, I was in Taiwan and had no part in the wearing of that wrinkled shirt!
High school is another adjustment for Viktor. He has been home not quite 3 years now and his English is fantastic. Therefore people forget that he isn't from here. The courses are much harder of course and the expectations have been ratcheted up as well. He is just coming off of his very first set of finals and unfortunately he did not do as well as he could have. Despite studying for 4-5 hours per subject. The test scores did not accurately reflect the amount of content he knows. So mama bear was in to the counselor's office yesterday for a discussion with his counselor and his ESL teacher on what options we had. We are so very blessed to live in a community that is very open to what's best for Viktor. They are working on approval to omit his finals from his grades but in the meantime they are going to verbally read him 175 questions for one of his finals so we can perhaps get some additional data on is it the structure of the tests, is it the language, do we have test anxiety, etc. That will give us some good direction on where to go to next. It's not uncommon for him to get A's on homework and C's and D's on tests. So we're not there yet, I assume it's language but I just don't know. No shock in my opinion. He's still pretty new to the English stuff! I don't know the answer to the questions "What is appropriate for a child who has been speaking English less than 3 years?" "What content is appropriate for a child who has been in the US less than 3 years (Should we really expect them to take Pre-Chemistry and Pre-Physics?)?" If anyone in the adoption community has this figured out, please please please comment below!!
P.S. Don't you love the dog in the photo? We have two English Springer Spaniels and they never leave Viktor alone!
Viktor had a big Fall season at church as well. Baptism, first communion AND confirmation. All within a few weeks span of time. He was so very pleased and we are very proud of him.
Christmas came and went. We spent time with family and friends and we were able to get up to the lake for New Year's too. Viktor was excited to get snowboarding lessons. Almost all of his friends snowboard but he has a bit of trouble, he's not he most coordinated or graceful!
But probably the biggest change over the last year for Viktor has been physically. He certainly has grown into a young man. Every once in a while we see a bit of little boy come eeking out but he is growing up way too fast. He has grown 4 inches and is now 5'11". We know his biological mother was 5'11" so we've been expecting a tall boy. He looks like he will definitely meet that expectation! His face has changed so much too. In more ways than one. His face is not as little boy round as it once was for one thing. And now we tease him about the mustache that is creeping in. With his dark hair, it's becoming VERY obvious that he needs to start shaving. At least the upper lip! Alex is very fair in skin and hair and he could hide it for a lot longer. Viktor is resisting shaving with all of his being. He is totally in denial about the hair above his lip. Therefore, we poke and tease mercilessly at every available moment. And not just on this topic! We then remind him that he could have said "No.", that he actually got to pick his family!
Behaviorally and emotionally, things are fantastic. I have to admit that we expected more issues than we have had. We are very blessed. He still suffers from some self esteem issues and is pretty stubborn at asking for help at school. But that stems from the self esteem issues. He doesn't want to be different and he doesn't want people to think he doesn't know something. The saddest thing for me is that he still sees himself as not important to those around him. This comes from the neglect. We were told that neglected children expect neglect and we have seen that play out in spades over the last three years. We've come so far on all of these things but they are still lurking. And every once in a while it jumps out and slaps you in the face. I keep praying for him as well as for us. And I keep referring to the old adage of time heals all wounds. I don't have my head in the sand so I know I have to temper this to what he has been through and where he comes from; I don't expect those wounds to ever be totally healed but I certainly am hoping we can help him grow a good thick skin over the scars and that the thick skin will keep those scars buried deep. Emotionally he has bonded with all of us beyond our wildest imagination. He loves his mom and dad and is never afraid to say it or show it. He and Alex grow closer every day. That relationship took more time and still has a few moments where mom has to raise her eyebrows but it's nothing more than normal sibling stuff now. Unfortunately, neither of them know anything about that since they didn't have siblings before they became siblings together. At 15 and 12. Bottom line is that Viktor craves Alex's attention and his love. When he doesn't get the attention, he starts to do things that he knows annoy Alex. Alex of course responds and not always in a happy playful manner! Sound familiar anyone? But overall, they have come a long way. They are emotionally connected. They were off of school this week for a few days and Alex took Viktor to breakfast at Perkins one day and for a late lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings another day. Alex will pick him up from school now (without too much grumbling) and on his own offers him rides here and there. So overall, I'm calling it a success!
I'll leave you with one of my favorite Viktor moments from this last year. One I will never forget. One that sums up our entire adoption experience and reminds you once again why you did and continue to do this. Viktor and I were driving down the road one evening, he snuggled into my shoulder/arm and said to me "Mom, I never ever dreamed I'd find such a good family." I leaned over and with the tears streaming down my cheeks, I kissed his head and told him I loved him and that God had blessed us all when he brought him into our lives. And for that I am very thankful!
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