Strike one, two, three. Viktor's out...

Viktor had the worst funk yet at school yesterday. And I received the longest email yet from his ESL teacher. They are doing state-wide testing and Viktor is required to complete the math section. Math is his worst subject, strike one. His math capability is around 4th grade yet he is being tested at the 7th grade level, strike two. His teacher is allowed to read him the test but cannot explain words he does not know or understand, strike three. Viktor’s out.

Here is an example of the test. Remember, his teacher can read him the question but is not allowed to explain anything to him. "Look at the 3-dimensional figure below. How many vertices does this figure have?" He’s been here 7 months and 9 days. But who’s counting? He doesn’t have a clue what the test is asking. This in itself is not the issue. The issue is how Viktor reacts to the fact that he doesn’t have a clue what the test is asking let alone what the right answer is.

As I mentioned in a previous blog entry, he gets very frustrated and starts to have a meltdown. Yesterday involved some escalating inappropriate negative behaviors. He simply stopped trying, got very negative and continually repeated that he made a mistake by coming here and should have said no to being adopted, he then started saying other things that he thought would get him out of taking this test. When that didn’t work, he then started kicking/throwing his pencil and then poking his pencil through the test booklet. Not so good…his poor teacher was about at the end of her rope…

Our Viktor is such a wonderful loving little big boy. But math simply turns him inside out. We are working with Sylvan and they have identified that he is missing some very basic math skills. Like many of the concepts around subtraction. Without going into a lot of details, there are questions about how much if any school he attended prior to arriving at the Children’s Home. There is some proof that indicates none is a real possibility. He seems to have tremendous knowledge in other subjects and loves to learn (except math!); I guess that is why his ESL teacher is saying he has a strong educational background. But no other subject builds upon itself like math. Math for some reason seems to be the exception to every rule with my guy.

I needed to work late last night on something critical at the office so I only had a moment with him before church. I hugged him and said “I hear we had a bad day at school?” He immediately said “Yes mum, I was very frustrated and I cried.” He did not go into a dissertation on how stupid the test was, how dumb he is, how he will never get it, etc. like he normally does. Some of that he did at school but he did not repeat the bad behavior as he has been known to do. He just looked at me and owned it. For the first time. Progress!!

We were so hoping that it would get better as he understood more English and school became easier. We were also hoping we would be able to model positive coping mechanisms and talk him through to positive/appropriate behavior. And I was seeing progress. His teacher said today that she was also seeing progress. Now my turn to say “Stupid test!” Perhaps it’s one step backwards for two steps forward?

I have been reading one blog where their daughter has experienced negative behaviors as well but not so much to math/school as other situations. I guess they’re called triggers in the world of psychology. I am going to shoot off an email to them to see if they have some suggestions that worked for them. And the social worker comes next week for Viktor’s post-adoption visit so I will be asking her for recommendations and resources.
Bottom line is that this wonderful child needs lessons in life-long positive coping skills. Things you and I learned at a relatively young age. If anyone has suggestions past the ol' 'take a deep breath', please comment or drop me an email. Viktor’s teacher, Robert and I are ready to go to work! We just need help figuring out what to do to help him help himself.