The biggest issue right now is the fact that we keep losing Viktor! This has been going on for about a month and seems to happen about once a week. It happened again yesterday and I must admit it is driving me nuts. Absolutely NUTS! So you all don't think I'm the worst parent ever, I'll give you some examples. The first time this happened was at a soccer game for his brother Alex. The high school soccer field is actually at the middle school. Viktor was at football practice at the middle school and was supposed to join us on the bleachers once practice was over. We could see the boys finishing practice and going in to the school to change clothes. Yet Viktor didn't appear on the bleachers for 45 minutes. I'm assuming he was hanging out with friends until the very last boy was picked up from practice and then decided to join us as there was nothing better to do.
The next incident involved the understanding that he was not going to his away football game with the team because he was thinking he might quit the team. Normally at our house you finish what you started but considering how long he had been home, homework was probably a better use of his time, etc. we didn't argue much and agreed he could quit mid-season if that was what he really wanted to do. At some point during the day, Viktor talked to his coach. Coach really didn't want him to quit and they decided Viktor would go to the game. This would have been fine had someone told me this was happening. Especially since Viktor was going to join dad at 3:00 to ride shotgun in the homecoming parade. Dad
Another time the coach called Robert and reported he wasn't on the football bus as scheduled and they had no idea where he was. I quickly left work and drove to school only to find him sitting on a bench in the back hallway of the school with his iPod Touch (which is FORBIDDEN to go to school). He had managed to hack into the school network and was enjoying Internet time. OMG!
Last week we found him at home not answering the phone. He doesn't like to answer the phone in case he can't understand what they want. He had once again decided not to go to the football game that day. I played it up BIG with him as this was probably the fourth or fifth time we were frantically trying to find him. I told him I looked at the Bagel Shop, the school, football, the park, etc. and was completely frantic as I thought someone stole him. I told him Dad was driving town as was family friend Mrs. Schnobrich. And no one could find him. I told him that if he wasn't found at home, I was next calling the police and reporting him as a missing person. He was quite scared and I thought he finally understood the severity of the situation.
I thought wrong. We lost him again yesterday. He was supposed to go get his football pictures taken then walk 2 blocks south to Sylvan for his first day with a tutor. Yup, Sylvan called. He had not shown up. He was 20 minutes late at this point. So I took off and raced again to the school. I found him 30 minutes later, he had just gotten done with pictures and 'forgot' to walk to Sylvan. Yeah, right. Cause all I heard as I drove the 2 blocks was how stupid Sylvan was. And just how do you know it's stupid when today is your first day??
The ladies in the office just laugh at me! Luckily we live in a small community where everyone watches out for him and he doesn't wander too far but it's driving me absolutely nuts! The school office ladies and I decided yesterday that we're going to attach a GPS to him. I keep thinking I need to get him a cell phone but frankly, he can't handle the overload of electronics. He can't find the balance between obsession with iPod Touch and using it to relax. He has limited access at this point. I may have to get a cell phone that he keeps in his pocket but has to give back to us every night when we get home. I expect he would be texting all night long if he had the opportunity.
I don't know if this comes from being independent for so long? If he doesn't understand that he still has to answer to someone even though he's no longer in the orphanage? If he feels so safe in our little community that he can just do what he wants at will? That he feels so safe with mom and dad that he knows we'll magically appear to find him? If communication is really that much of an issue here but not else where? I haven't been able to get to the bottom of this one. And I really don't have a clue!
But then again, there are many moments with both wonderful children where I simply don't have a clue...
No comments:
Post a Comment